Are you one of the 50 million Americans filling out college basketball brackets? If not, why not? Here are The Top Reasons You're Not Participating in a March Madness Pool.
The only thing you want to see anyone from Kansas do is sell you meth.
The entry fee is $5. And you're not made of money, yo!
(CAREFUL) You're a woman. And the only thing you're good at picking is detergent.
All your money is tied up in a "When The Hell Are They Gonna Find That Friggin' Plane" pool.
You don't have time to fill out your brackets, because you're busy finishing the Arizona State team's homework.
You're tired of losing to Peggy in Accounting who always wins because she "just really likes the color red."
Sports make a mockery of the whole college academic experience. Just like you told your frat bros the other day between keg stands.
You don't want the tournament to distract from all the time you spend at work looking at Internet porn.